Romance author whose life revolves around horses and crime shows.
Cordelia is back with a part two to her first blog, sex stories from the er!
Sex SNAFU’s… as told by an EMT.
What I didn’t mention in my last blog post is that after graduating from college, I pursued my EMT license. Now, we all know the go-to question people love to ask EMTs: “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?” (And if you’re one of those people who asks, please—just stop.) But what most people never think to ask is, “What’s the best, funniest, or most outrageous thing you’ve ever experienced?” That’s the kind of question I actually wish more people would ask.
I reached out to a Facebook community of over 80,000 fellow EMTs and medics from all over the globe (again). Hilarity ensued and this was what was produced from the post.
Check out Part 1 of Sex Stories from the ER HERE!
Horrors from the ER
1.) “I ran a call once where a guy had an electric toothbrush stuck in his ass. It was on, only the handle was out…it was stuck up there.”
2.) “A girlfriend when I was 19 wanted to do the chocolate sundae thing with my manhood. She heated the entire bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup in the microwave. (I still don’t know how long). She poured it on my manhood area without checking it like you would a baby bottle and gave me 2nd-degree burns. At the time, I worked for a private transport service and knew every ED nurse for a 25-mile radius. I made her drive me 150 miles to an ED. Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last much longer.”
More to share
3.) “I had one when I was working in an ER. A lady comes in, septic…abdominal CT shows a mass in the pubic region. Turns out that 2 weeks earlier – she went on a date and it went well. When things got hot and heavy, no condom could be found. She decided shoving a potato in her vagina would be a good idea…when she couldn’t get it out she said “Eh, screw it” and left it in there till it almost killed her.”
4.) “My ex was riding me like a bucking bronco. She got a little bit too excited and my dick got pulled out, she sat right down on it head first into her taint. I thought I broke my penis and went to the ER in extreme pain. Unfortunately, I had to go to the same establishment I worked for.”
5.) “One of our frequent fliers super glues his pee hole shut. Apparently, he enjoys the pain of ripping it of.”
6.) “Have you seen the guy with the eel up his ass yet, no? Watch it with caution…” (Guys, I watched it. Please don’t stick a damn eel up your ass, I guess this guy ended up with a perforated bowel because of it.)
Your ass is a trap!
7.) “Ran a call last night with a guy who had a screwdriver lodged in his asshole…handle out.”
8.) “Glass coke bottle in the anus. Pt attempted to fish it out with a metal hanger.”
9.) “20 year old male decided to use a cock ring for the first time. Left it on for 12 hours and went to the ER for severe penile and testicular edema. Took him to a level one trauma center and when the “enlarged appendage” between his legs was revealed you could see the cock ring……it was metal. I told him that if he wants to experiment with his genitals use rubber, silicone, or latex. Something you can cut off at him with a pair of scissors. Found out a week later from the trauma doc that the kid lost all function of his genitals due to severe trauma from the ring”
