Freya is back with another inside look at being in lifestyle bdsm.

The DDLG dynamic of D/s and M/s is too often misinterpreted to be entirely perverse and dirty. Stigmas from those unfamiliar have cheapened the experience for those of us who live it every day. My experience has been incredibly positive and healing. It has helped me overcome many fears I had. I hope to provide some insight to those unfamiliar. Welcome to Little Space.

What Is Little Space?

It is different for each little, but there are a few things that most have in common. Little space is a space in our minds where we feel safe and comfortable express ourselves with a free spirit. We can be silly, playful, and “little” in general. It is not necessarily a room or a physical space, rather a state of mind.

What do we do in Little Space?

What we do in little space varies widely depending on the individual. For myself, I will watch cartoons with my blankey, play Nintendo, cuddle with Daddy, color, or anything else that may come to mind. Sex can also play into little space, but not always.

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My Experience in Little Space

I feel safe and free to be myself without judgement. I have always enjoyed these activities, but I stopped them because I felt judged by those closest to me. I felt forced because it wasn’t “normal.” The problem was, I felt depleted and lost. I didn’t feel safe to be myself, and that caused a great deal of emotional and physical pain. I longed to do the things that made me most happy, but I resisted. I bought coloring books and games but every time I would start, I would stop and put everything away because I was shameful.

I have recently begun to embrace this part of myself, and it has given me my life back. I now feel free to be my authentic self, and I don’t care what other people think. I don’t feel I have to hide the things I enjoy. I don’t try to force myself to do things I know I won’t enjoy just to fit in. Most of all, I have found an amazing support system.

Recently, I was sending Daddy pictures of my room before and after I had cleaned it. Out of the blue, He said “your room needs more little things.” When I first read it, I assumed He meant small things. After a moment of thinking, I realized what He meant. I immediately got excited and I said, “STUFFIES!”, which are stuffed animals. I didn’t have any, but He knew I wanted them, and more importantly, I needed them to feel safe. I finally felt safe to have them again because Daddy said it was what I needed.

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After that conversation with Daddy, I began to find things that I really enjoyed.

I no longer feel pressured to conform. I feel safe and loved just as I am, and I am no longer afraid. Having Someone Who encourages and requires me to explore this side of myself is such a gift. I was so lost, but now I have found my path.

Often the DDLG dynamic is criticized unfairly. Those unfamiliar with it assume it is only about sex. They may be surprised to learn that it is much more than that. It is a way to undo all the hurt and fear littles have faced, and a way to process those emotions safely.

I hope this piece has brought understanding, and I welcome any questions or comments.