Sex Toys are Teammates, not replacements

Bringing sex toys into the bedroom with your partner is a challenging subject to bring up. Perhaps they feel it is a replacement for what they’re doing or they aren’t doing good enough. Beyond that, shame in media regarding sex toys can play a huge part.

All things considered, sex toys make a wonderful addition to couple’s play. Not only do they assist with challenges brought on by aging, medication, and mental roadblocks, they also introduce new sensations!

The mentality around Sex Toys and Pleasure

A lot of the hesitancy around sex toys in the bedroom comes from a root emotion: shame. Sex is still viewed as dirty in many cultures and media despite strides to become more sex-positive. Beyond culture and media, there are many that feel shame regarding what they are doing in the bedroom already. Many people feel they aren’t giving enough pleasure or doing a good enough job and are worried they are being ‘replaced’ by a sex toy.

The conversation around sex toys in the bedroom must be done in a comfortable environment, sober, and with an open mind. If you or your partner experience shame regarding sex toys this should be navigated with love and care.

Finally, let them know you’ve been interested in trying something new and would love them to try it with you. It is important to relay that it has nothing to do with their performance. Instead, sex toys are a way for you both to explore and connect further.

Your Bedroom Partner is Your Teammate

This is your PARTNER. Talking with them about your needs and desires in the bedroom is as important as discussing your interests and needs outside of the bedroom.

Take it Slowly and Check in Often

Don’t bring in something hyper-realistic or complicated when you first start. Your partner may not find the toys you like arousing when first exploring, so it’s important to start slow.

If there’s a lot of hesitancy with your partner, bring in items that are not considered sex toys. For instance, a new massage oil is a great way to start and to ease tension before play. Try playing around with different lubrications, blindfolds, or sensation devices before exploring penetration toys.

These additions are more familiar and comfortable thanks to their frequent appearance in media. Beyond that, they are also a great way to ease into the items you are both more curious about – or the idea of sex toys in general!

Time for a Massage!

Try vibration! Vibrating toys and massaging wands are a great way to work out tense muscles. This helps you both connect physically and relaxes the body and mind before sex. Beyond relaxation, wands and vibrators are used on anyone, no matter what genitals they have.

Tease the vibration over erogenous zones. Whether it’s the neck, thighs, wrist, or otherwise – vibration awakens the sensations and brings a new type of pleasure.

Consent is Key for Bringing Toys Into the Bedroom

No is always something you must be prepared to hear from your partner. Sex toys make some people uncomfortable and that’s OKAY! If your partner is not comfortable with the idea of bringing in sex toys, accept where they are at. This talk is about being able to feel safe expressing your desires and what you’d like, not about getting what you want.

Are sex toys not an option for both you and your partner? It’s perfectly healthy to partake in masturbation when in a relationship. Playing with sex toys does not mean you desire your partner less and also allows you to discover new sensations or things you enjoy.

Conversation is key in all sexual changes and additions in a relationship. Whether it’s just sexual or emotional and sexual, they are being trusted with your body and desires and you must feel comfortable voicing what you like.