Achieving pleasure is difficult for many

Know your body

Getting to know your body intimately is an empowering process that can open the door to discovering new sensations and preferences. By spending time exploring on your own, you can focus entirely on what feels good without worrying about how you look or whether you’re meeting anyone else’s expectations. This is a private, personal pleasure journey where the only goal is to understand your own body—what excites you, what relaxes you, and what you enjoy in order to orgasm. When you’re not preoccupied with pleasing a partner or being judged, it creates space for genuine self-discovery. This self-awareness becomes a valuable tool when it comes time to communicate your needs to a partner, allowing you to share what truly works for you and ensuring a more fulfilling, connected experience together.

Communicate Your Pleasure Needs

Advocating for your pleasure and openly communicating with your partner about what you want in the bedroom is essential for a fulfilling and mutually satisfying experience. It’s easy to assume that your partner will know what you like or to stay quiet about your needs, but the truth is, closed mouths are never fed. Expressing what feels good to you, what you enjoy, and what you’d like to explore helps create a more open and connected dynamic. It not only ensures that your needs are met but also builds trust and intimacy between you and your partner. The more you advocate for your pleasure, the more likely you are to create a space where both of you can experience greater satisfaction and connection. PLUS AN ORGASM!

Bringing in soldiers

Never hesitate to bring sex toys or accessories into the bedroom if they help enhance your experience. It’s important to communicate clearly with your partner that these additions aren’t a replacement but a way to support both of you as you explore each other’s needs and preferences. For example, if a warming lube helps you relax and enjoy the moment, don’t be afraid to use it. Similarly, if you find that a gentle vibration adds something enjoyable, consider choosing a tool that both of you feel comfortable with. And if you think roleplaying might help shift your mindset or add excitement, bring it up to your partner as a fun idea to explore together. The key is to be open, communicate, and find what works best for you both.

Mindset

The biggest hindrance to orgasm is mindset. If you’re busy thinking about the long to-do list that’s waiting for you and everything you’ve neglected to do that day, it will becoming overwhelmingly hard to achieve orgasm. It’s important to be present during your time playing.  If you find yourself distracted, try different methods to keep in the moment. Such as: playing music in the background, meditation before sex, deep breathing, or sensation isolation (such as stopping to focus on each sound in the room, each touch, driving all other thoughts from your mind)