Unfortunately, too many of fake our orgasms!

Maybe it’s because we weren’t fully in the mood in the first place. Or perhaps our partner does not know how to make us cum the way we wish to. No matter the case, there are many reasons why many of us fake our orgasms! Stop faking and start championing for the sex you deserve. Read along for some sex education about having the discussion with your partner.

Low expectations for your pleasure

When we allow our partner and those we are having sex with to think they have brought you to orgasm despite not getting you there, why would they improve? If you are not finding that your engines are revved by what is going on, don’t pretend!

Refusing to have a conversation where reality is brought to the table and your desires are met is succumbing to a mediocre sex life. Until you have the conversation, you are giving your partner NO reason to believe you are dissatisfied. Be sure to have this talk sooner rather than later! There is nothing worse than realizing you were doing something wrong for some time and were not told!

In your head too much during sex

If you don’t want to cum or do not believe you can relax enough to do so, tell your partner instead of faking your orgasms. This is much better than faking it and the truth potentially coming out in the future. Let them know that the things they are doing are pleasurable, still. Even if you wish for them to continue, you may not be in the right mindset to let go and orgasm.

Talking to your partner about changes in the bedroom can feel daunting, but open communication is key to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Here’s how you can approach the conversation:

Choose the Right Time: Find a relaxed moment when both of you are calm and can focus on the discussion. Avoid bringing it up during stressful or heated moments.
Be Honest and Open: Share your feelings openly, using “I” statements to express your desires or concerns. For example, “I’ve been thinking about trying something new in the bedroom,” rather than “You never…” This keeps the conversation about your needs, not blaming your partner.
Listen Actively: Allow your partner to share their thoughts and feelings too. Be open to hearing their perspective without interrupting or getting defensive.
Be Specific: Instead of vague statements like “I want things to be different,” be clear about what changes you’re thinking of. Whether it’s trying new positions, exploring fantasies, or changing the mood, being specific helps your partner understand your needs.
Emphasize Mutual Comfort: Reassure your partner that you want to explore together and that you’re both in it as a team. It’s important that both of you feel comfortable and enthusiastic about any changes.
Stay Open to Compromise: Your partner may have different preferences or concerns, so be ready to find middle ground. Compromise is a healthy part of a relationship.
Check in Regularly: After trying something new, check in with each other to see how things feel. Adjustments may be necessary, and keeping the conversation going ensures you both remain comfortable.
Be Patient: Changes take time, and it’s important to allow space for both of you to adjust. Don’t rush the process—keep the focus on enjoying the journey together.

Having these conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but they’re essential for building trust and intimacy in a relationship (and for unlocking those orgasms!). Open, respectful communication helps ensure both partners feel heard and valued.

For more examples, information, sex education, and my opinions about faking an orgasm, watch my video on the subject below!

Check out this blog about 20 Naughty Questions to Ask Your Partner to start the conversation!