Orgasm denial is more common than you think

For some people, pleasure denial—also known as orgasm denial or edging—can be a thrilling and intensely satisfying part of their sexual experience. This practice involves delaying or withholding orgasm, often as a way to build anticipation, heighten arousal, and create a deeper sense of control or submission. Whether done alone or with a partner, pleasure denial taps into the psychological and physical aspects of desire, turning the act of restraint into a powerful tool for heightened pleasure.

Edging

There isn’t a fixed time for pleasure denial; the duration is entirely up to the person in control. It could range from a few hours to several days, depending on the couple, and it can vary each time. For those who enjoy this dynamic, it offers enjoyment for both people involved. The one in control takes satisfaction in seeing their partner grow more eager and restless as they wait. On the other hand, the person being denied finds pleasure in the build-up and the eventual release that comes after the waiting period.

Tease and Denial

Pleasure denial isn’t a one-size-fits-all practice; you can approach it in many different ways. Let’s break it down, starting with the least severe options and building up to the more intense ones. If you’re new to this, I highly recommend having a conversation with your partner before jumping in headfirst. You can explore this dynamic without going too far too fast. Starting with teasing and light denial is the easiest and best way to begin. You might even already engage in some of these playful activities. For example, try a dice game! Instead of following the traditional rules, switch things up by turning the numbers into minutes where you can’t touch each other. During that time, focus on finding other ways to build anticipation and excitement without physical contact.

The dominant partner can allow stimulation of their partner but only after they’ve successfully done something for the dominant partner. Encouraging denial can be done in several ways. For example, tell the person who’s being denied the longer they build, the more they’ll be rewarded. Start slow and go from there. The most important part of this is -not- touching.

Ruined orgasms

Ruined orgasms are quite a bit more intense than simple teasing. You’re still allowed to orgasm but you won’t necessarily enjoy it. Typically the Sub has already been pushed beyond the point of an orgasm (aka you have no choice, you are going to orgasm) but then the stimulation is halted. Ruined orgasms aren’t usually as intense as regular orgasms.

Delivering pain during an orgasm is another way to ruin an orgasm, this can be done by flicking or slapping the clit or testicles when they’re about to orgasm. This needs to be discussed BEFORE it happens. The goal, however, is to do it hard enough to cause shock/reasonable amount of pain. A blocked orgasm (which is blocking the cum from being expelled) is another type of ruined orgasm but since I question the safety of it, I’d rather not dive into it more.

Edging

This is my favorite. It’s easily the most frustrating. While a submissive is still denied an orgasm, they’re still getting stimulation of their genitals. This can be done solo or with a partner and unlike a ruined orgasm, the stimulation stops right as the orgasm is about to occur and it doesn’t happen. The sensation fades and then it starts all over again. It’s slow and frustrating but the eventual reward is incredible, despite the feelings of sheer desperation! (Want to learn more about edging? Read our Karezza guide!)

Complete Denial

Finally, complete denial. This is the most severe and can be scary to a beginner. Complete denial does not allow for any stimulation of the genitals and it’s for a prolonged period (not just a couple of hours, we’re talking a few weeks to a few months.) You should start slow (a couple of days) and build up to more and more time. Some couples will use chastity devices. This truly focuses on the power dynamics between a couple and will challenge that. Again, this requires a lot of conversation and respect between partners.

Safety Risks

Are there any safety risks involved with orgasm denial? YES! So pay close attention. Denying a male partner of an orgasm for too long can cause prostatic fluid to build up.

For those who don’t know, this fluid is a part of the makeup of semen and becomes stagnant when it’s not released regularly. Why is this dangerous? Bacteria build up! Bacteria buildup can lead to prostate disease. No one wants that. Is it avoidable while still denying your male partner an orgasm? The answer is also yes. The prostate can be milked without causing an orgasm. Be sure to practice good hygiene with this, like cutting your fingernails and washing your hands to avoid any kind of bacteria swapping.

As always, make sure you’re talking to your partner before doing this or if you’re interested, bring it up. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship!