It is difficult to consider sexual wellness when you have chronic pain

I’ve been asked a few times how to prioritize sexual wellness while managing chronic pain.

Sexual wellness is an essential aspect of overall well-being, yet it often takes a backseat for individuals living with chronic pain. The physical and emotional challenges posed by pain can lead to a disconnect from intimacy, affecting relationships and self-esteem.

However, prioritizing sexual wellness is crucial, as it fosters connection, intimacy, and self-acceptance. By exploring strategies to navigate these challenges, individuals can enhance their sexual experiences and improve their quality of life, ultimately reclaiming a vital part of their identity.

Time to train the brain for pain

You can train your brain, and there’s solid science to back this up. The brain is remarkably adaptable, and with intentional practice, you can reshape your responses to both pain and intimacy.

To begin, it’s essential to find what methods resonate with you, which may involve some experimentation. Everyone’s experience with chronic pain is unique, so what works for one person might not work for another. Start by focusing on communication with your partner. Be open and honest about your feelings and experiences—after all, they can’t read your mind. If something hurts or doesn’t feel right, expressing that is crucial for both your comfort and their understanding.

Incorporate techniques like mindfulness and relaxation exercises into your routine. Mindfulness helps you stay present and reduces anxiety, making it easier to engage in intimate moments. Try deep-breathing exercises or guided meditations to calm your mind and relieve stress.

Additionally, explore different forms of touch and intimacy that feel comfortable for you. Experiment with gentle caresses, massages, or even non-sexual forms of affection to build intimacy without causing discomfort.

Finally, seek support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual wellness or chronic pain. They offer valuable insights and coping strategies tailored to your needs. Remember, finding what works for you is essential, and with patience and practice, you can reclaim your sexual wellness.

Explore various positions with your partner

If you have a bad shoulder like I do, consider adjusting your approach to find what works best for both of you. Experiment with positions that don’t strain your shoulder, such as lying on your side or using pillows for support. You might find that certain angles allow for comfort while still fostering intimacy. Communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, and be open to trying new ideas together. The key is to prioritize comfort while keeping the connection alive.

Stack it up!

You can follow my lead and use towels, pillows, and blankets as your best friend on tough days. I find a way to place an ice pack on my shoulder and then surround it with blankets for support. Is it sexy? Not at all. Do I care? Nope. My partner and I have embraced the awkwardness of my arm propped up on a pillow mountain, but guess what? Pillow Mountain is better than missing out on orgasms!

You can also use heating pads beforehand to help loosen up the area where you experience chronic pain, and follow up with icing afterward. Icing is crucial for recovery.

Avoid using creams like Icy Hot or Real Time Pain Relief before sex. Trust me, getting RTPR on your sensitive areas by accident is definitely not pleasant!

It truly is possible to maintain a fulfilling sex life, even when your body feels challenging. Your body doesn’t have to dictate your intimacy; you just need to learn how to communicate openly with your partner. No matter how hard they try, they can’t fully grasp your experience without your input. Discover the right combination that makes sex enjoyable again. Pay attention to your body—if it becomes too much, don’t hesitate to stop. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break, so just be mindful!

Most importantly, have fun! Don’t stress too much; let intimacy happen naturally!

Read my blog post about Keeping the Spark with Chronic Pain!